Call Of Duty

Ok so I bought Call Of Duty MW and it runs well on my computer

But I suck so much at this game I am most of the last in team

But I camp a lot and lazy to run to other parts

Here is a link to youtube I played like 45 min maybe you want to see it

My schizophrenia is getting better to handle I have still whole day voices but games playing I forget some hours I have voices but i have a new medication since december 2019 it called Amfexa you can read here a bit of it

I bought the game in dec for 40 euro then I bought a battle pass 20 euro then last week I need another buy with a battle pass another 20 euro is an expensive game I am not buying anymore fuck

OK that was it bey bey

It’s getting harder to live for life with the torture

I am so much tortured last few months I dont know if you people have the same things as me but I think some of you are

I get a feeling from under my feet and toes like electricity it runs up to my spine and from that point I can not sit I can not lie down I can not concentrate I have the feeling I can’t fight no more against it and finally you (not me) suicide I have this all day I can not sleep either and if I sleep I dont want to wake up anymore cause of the feelings that go through me

And if you sleep to much for few day’s then you have real problems cause you don’t want to feel but the feeling is much heavyer especially when you have slept to much and that means you dont sleep much and wake up in trauma or shock or both because you are tortured it’s shock what you get in to

Its real bad now for me I use amphetamine for help against the torture and sleep and also I get in a mood where I fight against the voices to not kill myself, If you have trouble keeping alive try amphetamine or get from drugs drogist dexamphetamine works for me also

But amphetamine is opiate and against the law in netherlands and I asked my doctor for dexamphetamine because I also am ADD patient is like adhd and dexamphetamine is prescribed for that but I am allready since may this year trying to get that, and they dont want to prescibe it for me but I am also a schizophrenic so it can be that I get psychotic because of the amphetamine so no doctor psychiatrist is so good to just give me the dexamphetamine. I buy it now from the street for 20 euro for 2,5 gram and I dont have that much money ( if you want to help me donate to me please) because i need to eat too

I stopped smoking now for 8 months since may I can stop any drugs but because of the voices and torture of feelings I really need it

Hope you can live and care in life for yourself U need it me too

New year comming

It is almost 2019 and I forgot what I been doin last 10 year I sit in my house 🏠 being tortured I go often eat with my parents but really that is the life for a decade now

I have nothing almost of money 💰 and this is a hard life, could be worse though (no house)

Is it normal for a.43 year old schizophrenic to be so alone all the friends I lost cause I can’t be seen like this ashamed is that I think

I hope 🙏 next year be better then last 10 year for everyone

Good christmas 🎄 and happy 😄 new year 2019 and for fuck sake stop smoking 🚬 again (I don’t)

Nano is dangerous in your body

Nano is dangerous it will kill you if it is not in a tube or implant in the body direct you will die

I had thousands of energy attacks on my body but did not kill me they can even send or let you think its nuclear energy if you get a taste of battery it is really possible that they target you with nuclear energy

I also got attacked with gamma energy that is really bad 🛀 for your health gamma is also deadly its a heavy felt energy and is like when Iron is wet it rusts that is a bit of feeling it can be explained for me

Nano energy is letting me feel like i beeing pulled like when your drunk you get a bit of dissinous and feel energy around you and its moving around i was once in den haag with queensday and they attacked me real heavy whole train was filled with energy that was felt by me but no one in the train was affected by it so i become to a inclusion

Nano is connected to your brain its all a fake feeling its not terrorising someone around you

But it can be very scary and let you think it is real but there also radio 📻 waves attacks those are real very dangerous it can stop your hart ❤ or electrocute you in the air there is a low electric field in our body too that they can use to attack you i think its attrackting electricity to a specific place in your body then shock you by contact command

Nano is fake feeling i think 99% but not sure they make me think i am a prophet by voices and believing it i can feel in my enviroment around me and attack the attackers around me with where they are with the camera and let me think i can hurt them and even throw them around or letting me think i can make them cum like sex its all robots bots who are making me think this really happening and voices are supercomputers doing it taking control of my brain and body

Supercomputers test you and try to get new things also painfull but are restricted to a low level pain i had pains very painfull in 15 years till now but the pain is not painfull anymore

But now there only very annoiying things like coughing that is over a year now and also like your nose is running with snot that is 3 years doing that heavy breathing also very annoying

This is till now what still happening but the worst are the voices i can not stop them and is dangerous because of suicide i have that 15 years

The problem is you can not go out of trauma and shock if it would stop i would be very hard to danger because shock trauma will affect you when it is over not when your still having it very dangerous for your psychological health you will crash from it

This is what i been going too if they ever stop

Hope it for others too